When should you get involved in Team Conflict?

When deciding whether or not to get involved in resolving conflict, and later if we do get involved, it’s important to separate the cause of the conflict and the issue itself from the individuals involved to avoid showing bias.

Ask yourself- Am I entering into this situation because I have/ entering into this situation with, a preconceived, biased view of what’s happened and who’s responsible based on my personal feelings about the individuals involved?

If you decide to wade in on a situation because you already believe one person is in the right because you get on better with them whereas the other person causes you more trouble, you’re probably doing it for the wrong reasons.

Allowing your own personal bias to influence your decision on whether or not it’s appropriate to get involved in the situation and then how to handle it, before you know the facts, will only lead to further issues.

We are all guilty of this on occasions so it’s important to check yourself to ensure you’re not doing this either consciously or subconsciously.

When deciding whether to step in to resolve a conflict it can be helpful to ask those involved.

Sometimes if you become aware of a situation, approaching the people in conflict directly, politely pointing out that you have noticed there seems to be some difficulties between them, asking what’s happening and if they would like any help resolving it, can be a good place to start.

It may be that this is the nudge they need to sort the situation out between them and avoid further managerial involvement.

Likewise, asking any team-member who approaches you with news of a conflict what’s happened and whether they believe you should step in, can be a good indicator of the seriousness of the situation and help to discourage anyone ‘stirring’ drama unnecessarily.

Asking the team at large or a trusted colleague about a situation and what they feel would be the best course of action can help you to gage whether to step in.

Similarly, when trying to resolve a conflict situation, the solution has to be fair to everybody involved and something all parties can agree to or it’s unlikely people will stick to it.

The best way to ensure conflict is resolved fairly is to talk to your team and those involved in the conflict and come to an agreed resolution together.

Remember your job is to mediate and facilitate a resolution to conflict, not control or impose sanctions.

When deciding whether to get involved in conflict resolution, you need to make sure you’ve got the time to dedicate.

A good manager will make time for resolving serious conflicts, but there’s only so many hours in the day, and sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and questioning whether certain conflicts need your time and resources.

It’s important to remember that most conflicts will require following up, so getting involved in a conflict may be signing up for months of checking in, reminding those involved what was agreed, asking how it’s going, and whether it’s solved the problem.

Be careful when choosing to mediate a conflict that you are able to bring everyone back to the table at a later date and follow up and that any solution reached is something you can provide, or you could end up inadvertently making promises you can’t keep which could lead to further conflict.

As managers, we might like to believe we are all rounders capable of dealing with anything our team has to throw at us, but we’re not trained mediators and there will be times when a situation is beyond our capability of resolving.

It’s important to know when you’re out of your depth and when to bring in extra help, whether that’s in the form of unions, HR, a moderator, a mediator, or other outside bodies.

You might have individuals who you find particularly challenging within your team due to their behaviour or overall performance causing ongoing conflict.

It’s easy in these situations to try to avoid the problem to save yourself hassle. You might find yourself slipping into the mindset of, oh it’s just X, he’s always difficult, but he’s retiring soon/ he’s on holiday next week, I’ll just leave it.

It’s never a good idea to ignore such behaviour or performance problems, as this sends a message to everyone else that it’s ok.

Beware of setting a double standard in behaviour that it’s ok for this person to behave a certain way but not anybody else, simply because you find them too difficult to deal with.

This may cause conflict in the team because that person will be seen to be ‘getting away with it’ and people might start to question why they should bother to uphold certain standards of work or behaviour if this person doesn’t.

This is why it’s important to deal with challenging individuals appropriately and at the right time, regardless of how difficult we might find them.

As managers we can fall into a trap of trying to ‘parent’ our team and insert ourselves into everything they do rather than trusting them to fight their own battles.

This can cause conflict because people will begin to notice you stepping in where you’re not wanted.

An overbearing managerial style can result in unintentionally deskilling and dis-empowering people. We are here to help our team grow and flourish, not do their job for them.

Before weighing in on low level conflict, ask yourself:

• Am I in the way/ making this situation worse?
• Am I supporting people to solve this conflict to help us all thrive or making it harder?
• Is what I’m doing as a manager appropriate or am I stepping in where I’m not needed?

Remember the success of the team is about everyone, not about you. It’s important to recognise when you’re in the way, and make sure that the team has space to operate and grow, or you could find yourself the root of a lot of the conflicts you’re trying to avoid.